


Taller

by lyrisey



Series: The Thousand Crimes of Taylor Hebert [2]
Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow
Genre: Crack, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyrisey/pseuds/lyrisey
Summary: In which Taylor is tall.
Series: The Thousand Crimes of Taylor Hebert [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158749
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Taller

"God, she's so _tall_."

"Like her daddy knocked up a lamppost."

"Confused a hole with a pole."

"I think that's a bit of a _stretch_ , Mads."

Laughter.

I smiled down at them.

"It's okay, Emma," I said. "I understand."

They hushed, staring at me.

"I... don't want to be short with you... but... you could at least _try_ to get on my level?"

Emma blanched, fumed, wordless and furious like a dam with a blocked spillway.

I smiled, turned, walked away, my willowy body swaying through the crowded press of students.

I was tall.

I could take the high ground.

* * *

_She smiled at him. "It's okay, Dad. All they're doing now is saying I'm tall... and I like being tall, so that's okay?"_

_Her smile widened. "Guess that means I'm the bigger person, huh?"_

" _No!_ " Danny Hebert thundered, his face tinted a dusky brinjal shade as he pounded on his desk, inchoate, fur-ious, almost frothing like a Barbasol badger. "She _needs to be taller._ "

"Mister Hebert," the white-coated man objected, "We _can't_. Taylor's still an adolescent, her body is still developing-"

" _Do_ ** _not_** _tell me what we cannot do!_ " Danny shrieked, kicking out of his chair and hopping onto the top of his desk like a rabid simian, spittle flecking from his lips as the white-coated man hastily stepped backwards. "I am the _Head of the PRT Trooper Union_ , and I want my little brown-haired green-eyed girl to be _taller!_ "

He would make his daughter taller, because being tall made her happy.

* * *

I leaned against the HallMed building, arched my back and stretched until my head bumped against Kaiser's office window, feeling my back pop like a mile-long string of firecrackers.

"Armsmaster, hoom?" I pondered, looking at the small boy in his rust-red costume. "I don't _think_ I've seen him."

I paused. Considered.

"Of course," I finally added after a moment, "I'm not sure I'd recognize him. He used to be... taller."

Aegis crossed his arms as he hovered at eye level. "...yeah, I guess that's fair," he finally conceded.

It was so nice having people who were understanding, who could see eye-to-eye with me.

"May I ask what you've got planned for today?"

"Doctor's appointment."

* * *

"PLEASE STATE THE NATURE OF YOUR MEDICAL MALFUNCTION!" a girl in white robes hollered from down on the sidewalk.

I loomed over her.

It was funny because I was a Taylor, and I was _tall_.

"The Universal Panacea," I boomed, smiling.

She crossed her arms. People seemed to do that a lot; I'd do it too, but my arms were too long to do it without breaking windows, which was bad unless I wanted to start a riot.

"TAYLOR!" she yelled. "SO LIKE, WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?"

"Well, Panacea," I rumbled. "As you can see, I'm very tall."

She opened her mouth.

"That is not my... mmm... malfunction, though," I hastened to add. "I like being tall. I've grown to be a better person."

She closed her mouth.

"You see, there are complications that come with being tall. There's a lot of weight on my feet, and that can cause... issues." I squinted down at her.

"Panacea..." I hesitated. "I need you to fix my bunyans."


End file.
